A lot of people in this world are sure loners, they prefer to be all alone by themselves as they better enjoy “quiet and peaceful” surroundings.
I’ve been there, done that.
As an only child, I never feel good being with so many acquaintances and random people. It never makes me happy, instead, I easily get irritated, mad and bored.
I prefer privacy and do things on my own. Asking favors from others makes me feel lame, stupid and useless. I became choosy, sensitive and perfectionist. Mistakes and flaws usually disappoint me. I hardly trust anyone and became self-dependent. Never did I wish to ask for somebody’s advice and help for I don’t want to owe them anything.
I was paranoid!
"Yeah, bring them on!" - Arousing my problems is better than avoiding them, so I'm calling out to "bring 'em on!".
Complications, dilemma, disputes, headaches, issues, obstacles, troubles, doubts, name it! I'm used to them, really! They made me unbreakable, yes! That's how I am. Unbreakable. Or maybe, I was already broken into several tiny pieces that there's nothing left in me for the problems to break and there's no reason for me to feel such.
Marriage never gets me so excited ever since. I don't know why but that's how I feel about it. I just so love my surname that I don't even want to change it - and that's what getting married does.
During my teenage era, I planned not to get married before my 25th year and never even imagined seeing myself getting married before my 30th. I wanted to have my own happy family in the future but doesn't want to get involve with its beginning. Sounds insane though, but that's how crazy my notions are, or maybe that's how an unready thought runs back then.
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